Why? The question is why…
Why do we have to feel so bad about ourselves? To run from what we truly are and seek for something else. We think we will never be good enough. We always try to change. We want something… more. More beautiful, more intelligent, more of what we will never ever be. This world makes us feel wrong if we are different, especially if we do not blend in. If you stand out you will have people to judge you for being you. And the sad part is that even if you do not want to be judged and find it wrong, you still do it, every day of your life without even realizing it. You gossip. I gossip. We all do.
So, in this tornado of judgment and immorality, where people become simple pieces of what we call the big puzzle- the world; how could we try to accept ourselves, not try to hide our most unique parts, but more important… to love ourselves. How can we find our voice and embrace whatever God gave us that makes us special. How could you? How could I?
No. We need to feel wrong. We must change every tiny part that doesn’t fit in. We have to be perfect. We must, in order to survive. That’s what we tell ourselves. That’s the motto we live by. And now, let me break it to you… You don’t have to. You don’t have to try so hard to change what you truly are. You don’t have to hide your flaws, the absolute parts that make you unique. Unique is beautiful.
We are surrounded by stereotypes, we are surrounded by things to aspire to. Magazines, television, social media, people’s opinion, give us the urge to change. We have to look that way, think that way, eat that way, talk that way. Choose what you love, but what you love must be what society loves too. You are doing it all wrong. I am doing it all wrong. We all are a mess… a mess which needs to be fixed. We compare to others. Do I look like her? Is she skinnier? Is she more beautiful? I wish I was her. But the truth is… you don’t. Maybe she wants to be you. The thing is, you both don’t truly know how each other’s life is, what are the problems she has to deal with and nor does she knows yours. So? Do you really want what she has, her flaws, her messed up life? Or will you try to deal with yours? Don’t you think you at least deserve the shot to embrace yourself?
After all, even the puzzle we want so hard to fit in has unique pieces. You are not going to find one that looks just the same as another. Some are bigger some are smaller, some are longer some are shorter. But each piece needs to be there in order to create a beautiful whole. Each one is just as important as the others. Why? Because if it’s not there, if it changes even a bit it will mess up the big picture.
Why can’t we love ourselves? And why do we judge the people that try to or even succeed to? I want to be able to love myself, to be in peace with my mind and body and if I want to change something to be not because society told me so, but because I want to, because I had the power to make this decision. I want to believe that there, somewhere, someone will love me just the way I am, just the way God created me. I deserve it. Everybody does.
Stop. Just stop for a second and try to escape the tornado. Stop and look around you. You will find that unique is not that bad. Unique is exactly what you need. And only then, you will realize that you shouldn’t change. You should be just the way you are.
“ Beauty is, in some way, boring. Even if its concept changes through the ages… a beautiful object must always follow certain rules. A beautiful nose shouldn’t be longer than that or shorter than that, on the contrary, an ugly nose can be as long as the one of Pinocchio, or as big as the trunk of an elephant, or like the beak of an eagle, and so ugliness is unpredictable, and offers an infinite range of possibility. Beauty is infinite, ugliness is infinite like God.”- Umberto Eco; On The History Of Ugliness
Stay you. Love, IuliAlexandra.