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So afraid… So afraid of what people might think of us. So afraid to say too much, to know too less, to allow yourself to get drowned in thoughts. You must succeed . You must meet their expectations. Because… well, you built them, and now is too late to back down. It’s too late to show no interest in what you used to. It’s too late not to care. Cause, they will judge, and it will hurt. It hurts when you feel the eyes on you, expecting you to fail, to make a mistake. So you deny that. You do your best to prove them wrong. To prove them that you still got the power. Right? But, oh, darling… What if I tell you that you already lost? You lost yourself in this little, silly game. You think that you are better because you faced them. Let me ask you a question… What does your soul think of this? Does it agree? Does it feel that this is what you always wanted? Or is this only the facade? The image they wanted you to be? Aren’t you their puppet now? No? But you are.

You are scared that they might see you fail. They might see that you have a flaw. And that is terrifying. Cause, we’re not supposed to be flawed. We are supposed to be these perfect machines that always make the best choice, the right choice. You can’t lose yourself, cause life stops for no man. You must be successful in your career so that your name “has” a meaning, you must have the money, the big home, the material things that will teach them that you are “better”, that you gain more, you must have this perfect relationship to show that you are emotionally stable, you must have this “movie like” life. And as that’s not enough, you must do them all by a certain age. Cause you don’t want to get old without doing these all. Time… It fades every second and we have less and less, meanwhile we want to gain more, and more. But, as we all know, when we die, all these material things, the career, reputations, the lovers, all of them will be gone and we’ll face God with nothing but our souls. We’ll strip all we have gained till now, except for one thing: the treasure our soul gained. The smiles we are responsible of, the kindness we showed, the prayers we made for the less fortunate ones, the thanks we gave God for keeping us alive all this time, the help we gave even when not asked to, the little thing, these are the ones that will matter.

Do you still want to be that someone you’re not for them? Do you still want to prove them wrong and lose yourself in this game? Do you still want to take revenge on those who made you wrong? Aren’t we all going in the same direction? To the same faith? Aren’t we all going to die? Think about it. Is it worth it?

Outfit: coat- New-look ; jeans- ZARA; boots- Anna Cori;

Photographer: Sandor Lucas Photography ;

Oh, and listen to this, maybe you’ll like it: Way Down We Go- Kaleo ;

Love, IuliAlexandra

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