It always sounds so harsh, so permanent, so irreplaceable… the end of something always comes at package with some kind of fear, anxiety. When something is over, it’s hard to find meaning again, to build new habits, to grow, to let go of the things that seemed to go on forever. The truth is, we like it that way, to always be assured that there is something to wake up to in the morning. As we age, we collect knowledge, skills, people, places… memories. We buy and lose things, we change, we fight against our own minds. For what it’s worth, something is sure, we can’t go back… It is what it is. But it’s hard, it’s hard to let go, to move on, to grow old, to realise that the fear is real, that the adulthood is nearby, waiting to eat you alive. One more step and you’re there. No more childish games, no more silly mistakes, no more “I’ll worry about that kind of things later”. Or… maybe I’m overreacting.

The truth is, something major happened. When graduation comes, the experience of “School” is officially over. It saddens and makes us happy at the same time. I don’t want to be the one who pities herself over time passing, as this is one of the most natural things we face as humans. I will always keep the memories I built close to my heart, I’ll alway treasure the years I spent as a student. When the day came, when the end was there, I enjoyed it as much as I could. I wanted it, that day, to be one to remember. So I prolonged it as much as I could (5 a.m. long). Now I have the memories of a day and night to always remember.

I won’t lie, the end makes me feel anxious, it scares me, it makes me doubt everything that’s coming. Everything will change, I’ll never be able to go back to who I was, only to who I’ll be. So, I’ll embrace the present as much as I can. I’ll fight for the moment and live in it, because if I look in the past I’ll always be missing something: the future, and if I live in the future I’ll never have a past, so the present sounds pretty much, just right.

1st outfit: dress- ZARA; necklace-ZARA; watch- D&G; shoes- Benvenuti; bag- Stradivarius;

2nd outfit: dress- Commod Croitorie Comanda; earrings- ZARA; rings: H&M; clutch- POEMA; shoes- Anna Cori;

Photographer: Andra Topan;

PS: for funny snapchats- iuliatopan; also- stalk me more on insta: iuliatopan;

Love, IuliAlexandra

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