And there was this feeling of not belonging that was torturing my soul. There was this thought I couldn’t let go of. My homesick soul was trapped into a traveler’s body. The fear surrounded me from every side and my being got smaller and smaller in this inexistent cage. I knew that change would be hard but it never quite appeared under this shape before. All I have ever dream of was lying before my eyes and I wasn’t happy with myself. The freedom trapped me in a weird way. So I needed to get away. I needed a second to breathe. So I did.

My freedom now lied in the comfort of returning. There is this thing when you leave. You’re afraid you’ll never be able to return. So when I stepped out of the plane and saw familiar ground I could breathe again. I felt a wave of indescribable happiness. Everything I ever was ungrateful for became a thing I wouldn’t ever dare to question again. Home was home, unchanged and I wanted it to stay that way.

I now could return with my mind at peace. I could find that positivity in both places I live. Because for me, it will never be the same. I will never be a citizen of a place and a place alone. You learn to grow feelings for the unknown, but in order to do that, you must reassure that there will always be that “happy”, “safe” palace that will welcome you as you never left.


Even though returning home warmed my heart, the weather wasn’t that welcoming. Therefore, the outfit I approached had to be suitable for a winter like weather. (To be honest, these photos are from November, I wouldn’t dare to pose without coat now. My soul would freeze.) The most predictable choice: trousers, a sweater, high boots and my very warm ZARA coat.

The black trousers you can see are from Orsay. Even though I like them very much due to the texture and the stretch they offer, they are quite light for the winter time. So maybe use them when the weather isn’t turning water into hard ice? Good choice, though. Bonus for fitting into the boots. (Yay, life.)

This sweater I got from Pimkie. What I like about it has to be, of course, the collar and the little details on it. You don’t actually have to wear a fancy shirt under as it is already fancy. I always am grateful for these items that simply make dressing up a little bit easier. Comfy, neutral colour that suits the cold season surroundings. What else could you ask for?

The coat I’m wearing is from ZARA and I have to admit that I wear it almost every day in the winter time. It is so very warm and as it is black it’s very easy to put together an outfit with it. The warming inside can be taken out so that it becomes a perfect autumn/spring coat as well. 2 in 1. Could this get any better?

Boots- Anna Cori. This brand always surprises me with leather quality. I always care about shoes quality as I want them to last as long as they could. I’ve been looking for some high boots for such a long time, but I never managed to find some that could actually fit my calves (dancer struggles). When I find these I was thrilled. They are perfect for this cold weather, they look badass and the quality is very good. #worthit

This ZARA backpack is a life saviour. I promise you. If you’re like me and you have to walk to university or school every time, you know the struggle of back pain. I used to have a bag (amazing one), but it always ended up in me complaining about the pain. It might look as if it’s small but it fits so many things, trust me. I recommend it with all my heart.

Have courage & Be kind!

Photographer: Andra Topan;

Stalk me: snapchat- iuliatopan (sometimes I’m funny), insta- iuliatopan, twitter: @IuliaTopan;

Love, IuliAlexandra

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